25 Pounds of Brown Sugar

2/19/08
There's this scene from Anne of Green Gables where Mathew Cuthford goes into town to buy a dress for his daughter Anne. This is no ordinary dress, it's Anne's dream dress with the most exquisite puffed sleeves. Mathew sees the dress in the window, then walks up to the lady at the counter.

He can't bring himself to say what it is he really needs, so he asks for something else, anything else. He asks for the things he doesn'tneed instead. He's just buying time to work up the courage. If you've seen this movie a million times like I have you absolutley adore this man. Here's the conversation that takes place in the old general store.

"Yeah uh.... I was wondering if you had uh...a rake?"
"Well now, we normally don't carry rakes in the winter, but we might have one in back"
She comes back with a rake in her hands.
"Well look at that, the very last one! Will this be all Mr. Cuthfort?"

"Well actually, uh....

Well if it's not too much trouble..."

((((Awkward stalling))))

"SUGAR." He says at last.
"Sugar? Well, how much would you like?"
"OH well, uh would 25 pounds be enough?"
"Yes Mr. Cuthford I think 25 pounds is more than enough sugar."
Seconds later she returns with the most enormous sack of sugar and plops it as his feet.

Mathew exhales then leans in close to her ear....
"I need a dress...for Anne! Puffed sleeves!" He whispers.
"Well for goodness sakes! Why didn't you just say so in the first place?!?!"

I basically had that exact conversation with a friend tonight. What I really wanted to say, I couldn't say. Instead, I asked for 25 pounds of freakin' brown sugar. Of course I don't need brown sugar. But I panicked and had to make something up. Oh God, I prayed, I hope he doesn't see right through this. Awesome, I think he bought it. I was so convincing I almost had myself fooled. Yes, I'm that good.

Until tonight I've never understood why Mathew couldn't just spit it out. He was embarrased to admit his need. Why do we find it embarrasing to admit our needs? Our needs aren't silly they are great. I have this big massive puffed sleeve type need that sooner or later needs to be come out. If I don't say it, I'm going to end up with 25 pounds of brown sugar and then where will I be?

Up $*!# creek, that's where!